Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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