See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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