Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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