I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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