Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize