Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
