we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
