Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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