I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
