She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
