I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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