i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
