I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I love you.
Bad choice
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
