Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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