I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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