I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
