i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
