Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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