When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
