Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
