i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
