How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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