New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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