My room smells like vodka and shame
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
