sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
