got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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