I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
