I heard we made out
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
