Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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