Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(336): View more from North Carolina

There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.

(336): View more from North Carolina

This is god's gift to the unemployed.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess

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(954): View more from Florida

im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls

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(504): View more from Louisiana

Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?

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(406): View more from Montana

I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense

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(850): View more from Florida

We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.

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(778): View more from British Columbia

I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was

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(714): View more from California

I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.

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