Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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