You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
