i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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