U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
