I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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