you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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