What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
