Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I just found puke in my bra..
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
