he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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