i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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