Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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