I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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