so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
