she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I didn't notice because vodka
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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