yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize