I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
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