How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
