so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
