I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Randomize
