Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize