Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
