Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
