I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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