I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
