I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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