ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
