Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
