my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
your room smells of hookers.
And success
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
