she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize