Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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