You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
