i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
