ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
