I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
