sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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