should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Who put my cat in the fridge?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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